“Dad, I can’t breathe.”
That’s what my 16-year-old son Jake gasped after I challenged him to a race up our driveway last October. I’d lost—badly—and was hunched over, wheezing like I’d just climbed Everest instead of our slightly sloped, maybe 30-yard driveway.
“Join the club,” I managed between labored breaths.
It wasn’t the wake-up call that finally got to me, though. It was what came next, as Jake helped me straighten up, genuine concern in his eyes.
“You’re still coming to Ellie’s wedding in the spring, right?”
My daughter’s wedding. My beautiful, athletic daughter who’d been gently suggesting “father-daughter dance lessons” for months. The thought of sweating through a rented tux while everyone watched me lumber around the dance floor with my graceful daughter made my stomach turn.
“Of course I am,” I said, finally catching my breath. “And I’ll be ready.”
I had exactly 93 days to figure out what “ready” meant.
The History of Failures
I should mention that at 43, I was carrying 237 pounds on my 5’10” frame. I hadn’t always been this way. In my twenties, I played recreational basketball and went hiking on weekends. But life—a demanding job as an IT project manager, raising two kids mostly on my own after their mom left when they were in elementary school, and the slow creep of age—had added about 4 pounds a year until here I was, officially obese according to my doctor.
I’d tried to turn things around before:
There was the gym membership I bought three Januarys in a row, each time convincing myself this year would be different. I think my record was 9 consecutive visits before work deadlines or kid activities intervened.
The running program where I injured my knee two weeks in because I tried to follow the routine designed for someone half my weight.
The meal service that sent ingredients that wilted in my fridge while we ordered pizza after late soccer practices.
The worst was the 5AM “Bootcamp Challenge” I signed up for after a particularly depressing physical. I set my alarm for 4:30 AM exactly seven times. I made it to exactly two sessions, both times dragging through my workday afterward like a zombie, pounding energy drinks that probably had more calories than I’d burned.
Each attempt followed the same pattern: initial enthusiasm, scheduling conflicts, growing dread about the workouts themselves, then abandonment and self-loathing.
“You’re just lazy,” said the voice in my head that sounded suspiciously like my ex-wife.
But was I? I managed to work 50+ hours a week, coach Jake’s middle school basketball team for three years, and never miss Ellie’s dance recitals. I could push through exhaustion for everything else in my life. Why not this?
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The Neighbor’s Suggestion
A few days after the driveway incident, I was grabbing the mail when my neighbor Alex waved me over. Alex was about my age but looked like he belonged in a different decade of life—lean, energetic, and perpetually tan from his weekend mountain bike rides.
“Hey Mike, got the leaf blower I can borrow? Mine died mid-yard.”
As I helped him finish his lawn, I finally asked the question that had been bugging me for months.
“So what’s your secret? You’ve got kids, that consulting job that had you traveling constantly before COVID. How do you stay in shape?”
He laughed. “You mean how did I fix this?” He patted his stomach. “Because two years ago, I was shopping in the same Big & Tall section as you.”
I hadn’t known him then, but the thought that fit, mountain-biking Alex had ever struggled with his weight seemed impossible.
“Morning workouts never worked for me,” he said, stuffing leaves into a bag. “I’d either skip them for sleep or be useless all day after dragging myself through one. But these evening HIIT sessions? They actually fit my life.”
“HIIT?”
“High-intensity interval training. Short bursts of hard work with brief rests. 25, 30 minutes tops, but you’re wiped after. I do them right after I put Zack to bed, around 8. It’s been the only thing I’ve stuck with longer than a month.”
I nodded politely, mentally filing it under “things that probably work for other people.”
But that night, as I mindlessly scrolled Netflix with a bag of chips balanced on my stomach, his words kept coming back to me. Evening workouts. Short sessions. After the kids were settled.
I opened my laptop and typed: “Drop fat with evening HIIT routines for beginners”
Starting From Zero
I wish I could tell you I had some elaborate plan or followed some famous fitness guru’s program. The truth is messier and less Instagram-worthy.
I cleared a space in the basement next to the neglected treadmill that had become our household’s most expensive laundry rack. I found an old yoga mat from when Ellie went through her brief yoga phase. I ordered a single 25-pound kettlebell online because it was on sale.
My first workout was pitiful by any objective standard. After 20 seconds of jumping jacks, I was already gasping. The push-ups were actually push-up—singular—followed by collapsing onto my knees. I checked my watch constantly during the 20-minute session, counting down until it was over.
But here’s the thing—I finished it. And unlike my morning workout attempts, I wasn’t destroyed for the rest of the day. I showered, slept surprisingly well, and woke up sore but oddly energized.
Two days later, I did it again. This time, I managed two push-ups.
I kept the routine simple because complexity had killed all my previous attempts:
- Workout at 8 PM after dinner was cleaned up
- Four times per week (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)
- 25 minutes total: 5-minute warm-up, 15-minute HIIT circuit, 5-minute stretch
- Basic exercises requiring minimal equipment
My first-month routine was embarrassingly basic:
- Jumping jacks
- Modified push-ups (from knees as needed)
- Bodyweight squats
- Kettlebell swings (the one exercise I had to learn from YouTube)
- High knees in place
- Plank (for as long as I could hold, which wasn’t long)
I’d do each exercise for 30 seconds, then rest for 60 seconds. Four rounds total.
The first two weeks were just about surviving each session and not quitting. I’d collapse on the basement floor afterward, staring at the ceiling and wondering if this was really any different from all my previous failed attempts.

When It Started Working
Around week three, something strange happened. I found myself actually looking forward to the evening sessions. I was beginning to understand how I could drop fat with evening HIIT routines in a way that actually fit my life. Not because I suddenly loved burpees (I still hate them with the fiery passion of a thousand suns), but because of how I felt afterward.
The best way I can describe it is that the workouts began emptying my stress bucket from the day. After particularly frustrating work meetings or arguments with Jake about homework, I’d go downstairs and pour that negative energy into movement. By the time I came back up, sweaty and exhausted, the day’s frustrations had been metabolized into something else.

The physical changes came gradually, sneaking up on me:
- Week 4: My watch suddenly felt looser. I had to tighten it a notch.
- Week 5: I made it through all four rounds without stopping mid-exercise.
- Week 6: I slept through the night without my usual 2 AM anxiety awakening.
- Week 7: I realized I hadn’t had heartburn all week, despite my still-imperfect diet.
- Week 8: Jake asked if I’d lost weight.
That last one stopped me in my tracks. Teenagers don’t notice anything outside their immediate orbit of concerns. If Jake had noticed, something was definitely happening.
I stepped on the scale for the first time since starting: 223 pounds. Down 14 pounds in eight weeks.
The shocking part wasn’t just the weight loss, but that I’d stuck with the program longer than any previous attempt. And it wasn’t because I’d suddenly developed iron willpower. It was because the evening timing actually worked for my life and body.
Why Evenings Worked For Me
Here’s what I figured out about myself:
- I’m naturally a night person. Always have been. My brain doesn’t fully engage until about 10 AM, and I get a second wind around 7-8 PM. Fighting this pattern had doomed my morning workout attempts.
- Evening exercise helped my sleep rather than hurting it. I’d always heard you shouldn’t exercise at night because it will keep you awake. For me, it was the opposite. The evening workouts tired me out physically in a way that matched my mental fatigue, helping me fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer.
- It gave me a positive end to each day. Even on days when work was terrible or I’d lost my temper with the kids, I could go to bed knowing I’d done at least one positive thing for myself.
- The kids were settled. No interruptions from “Dad, I need…” emergencies that plagued weekend or early evening workout attempts.
- I could shower immediately after and then do nothing. No rushing to get ready for work, no need to look presentable for the rest of the day.
Around the halfway point to the wedding, I shared my progress with Ellie during our weekly Sunday night call.
“Dad, that’s amazing! But… why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
I hesitated. “I guess I was afraid of another public failure. You’ve seen me start and quit too many times.”
“Well, I’m really proud of you,” she said. “And a little nervous about our dance now. You might actually have more stamina than me!”
That conversation gave me a second wind. I wasn’t just doing this for myself anymore. I was doing it for the moment she had imagined since she was little—dancing with her dad at her wedding.
The Actual Workouts
As I progressed, I gradually increased the difficulty by adjusting the work-to-rest ratio rather than completely changing the exercises. Simple still worked best for me:
Month 1: 30 seconds work / 60 seconds rest Month 2: 35 seconds work / 45 seconds rest Month 3: 40 seconds work / 30 seconds rest
I added a few more challenging exercises as my fitness improved:
- Regular push-ups instead of knee push-ups
- Burpees (with modified push-up as needed)
- Kettlebell goblet squats instead of bodyweight
- Mountain climbers
- Alternating lunges
- Russian twists
The workouts never got much longer than 30 minutes total. When I felt myself making excuses to skip a session, I’d negotiate down to “just 15 minutes” rather than skipping entirely. Those shorter sessions kept my streak alive even when motivation was low.
I never set foot in a gym or used anything fancier than that single kettlebell, a pair of old dumbbells I found in the attic, and a jump rope Jake got me for Christmas with a note that read, “For when you’re ready to level up, old man.”

The Diet Reality
I wish I could say I completely overhauled my diet and went all-in on clean eating. The truth is messier. I made moderate, sustainable changes:
- I stopped drinking my calories. No more soda, minimal alcohol, less creamer in my coffee.
- I added protein to breakfast instead of just grabbing a bagel or cereal.
- I cut back on late-night snacking because, frankly, I was usually too tired after the workout to bother getting up for chips.
- I started planning simple meals on Sunday that could be reheated quickly.
Pizza Fridays with the kids remained sacred. Jake’s homemade chocolate chip cookies were still allowed in the house. I still ate too much at Thanksgiving and Christmas. But perfect wasn’t the goal—better and sustainable was.
The evening workouts actually helped my eating in unexpected ways. I found I naturally didn’t want to eat too much at dinner because exercising with a full stomach felt awful. And the post-workout fatigue reduced my nighttime cravings—the time when I’d previously done most of my mindless overeating.
When I Almost Quit
Around day 58, I hit a wall. Work became overwhelming with a new system implementation. Jake got sick, then I caught his cold. I missed four workout days in a row—my longest streak of missed sessions.
I remember standing in the kitchen on a Friday night, looking at the basement door, feeling exhausted and thinking, “This is where it ends. Just like every other attempt.”
What saved me wasn’t motivation or discipline. It was Jake.
He walked into the kitchen, looked at me in my regular clothes instead of workout gear, and said simply, “No basement tonight?”
Something in his tone—not judgmental, just curious—made me realize he’d been watching me these past two months. Watching me start something and, for once, stick with it.
“Actually, I was just heading down,” I lied.
“Cool,” he said, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. “Mind if I join you? Coach says I need to work on my core for basketball.”
That night we did a modified version of my routine together. He demolished me in every exercise except the kettlebell swings, which he couldn’t quite get the hang of. We were both sweaty messes by the end.
“That was harder than it looked,” he admitted. “You’ve been doing this every night?”
“Four times a week,” I corrected.
“Pretty impressive for an old guy,” he said with a grin.
And just like that, I was back on track.
The Wedding Day
By the time Ellie’s wedding arrived in March, I’d lost 27 pounds. Not the full 40 I’d fantasized about in my more delusional moments, but enough to need a new suit and enough to dance with my daughter without getting winded.
The father-daughter dance went perfectly—no gasping for breath, no sweating through my shirt. We’d practiced enough that I didn’t have to concentrate on the steps, so I could actually be present in the moment, looking at my beautiful daughter and feeling grateful I’d found a way to show up as the dad she deserved.
Later in the evening, during the open dancing, Ellie’s new mother-in-law asked me to dance. As we moved around the floor, she said, “Ellie told me about your fitness journey. You must have incredible willpower.”
I laughed. “Actually, I don’t. I just finally found something that worked with my life instead of against it.”
And that’s really what it came down to. The evening HIIT approach worked not because it was magical or because I suddenly developed superhuman discipline, but because it aligned with my natural rhythms and life circumstances.
Where I Am Now
It’s been fourteen months since the wedding. I’d love to report that I’ve kept every pound off and developed six-pack abs, but real life isn’t an Instagram transformation post.
I’ve maintained most of the loss (about 22 of the 27 pounds), and more importantly, I’ve kept up the evening workouts—though now it’s typically three days a week instead of four. I’ve added some resistance bands and a pull-up bar to my basement setup, and Jake occasionally still joins me, especially in basketball off-season.
My doctor actually high-fived me at my last physical when she saw my blood pressure numbers, which was both encouraging and slightly unprofessional.
The most significant change has been mental. Finding one area of my life where I could overcome my start-stop pattern has created a kind of confidence that’s spilled over elsewhere. I finally asked for that promotion at work. I started dating again after five years of convincing myself I didn’t have time. I signed up for an adult basketball league that would have terrified me before.
If you’ve struggled with fitness approaches that just don’t seem to stick, or you’re looking to drop fat with evening HIIT routines like I did, consider that the problem might not be you—it might be trying to force yourself into someone else’s optimal routine. Our bodies and lives have different rhythms. Finding what works for your specific circumstances might be the difference between another abandoned resolution and lasting change.
For me, it was evening HIIT workouts in my basement with minimal equipment. For you, it might be something completely different. The key isn’t finding the “best” routine according to fitness experts—it’s finding the routine that you’ll actually do consistently.
Just before the father-daughter dance at Ellie’s wedding, she squeezed my hand and whispered, “Thanks for doing this, Dad.”
“The dance lessons weren’t so bad,” I replied.
“Not the lessons,” she said. “The work it took to be here—really here—with me.”
Those words were worth every burpee, every sore morning, every time I dragged myself to the basement when Netflix seemed more appealing. And they remind me, on days when motivation lags, why finding a sustainable approach to fitness matters far beyond the number on the scale.
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